When I was trying to come up with this week’s hashtag I really scoured my brain for something that everyone could get behind. I knew people would have to love something, or hate it. Strong emotional responses make for better comedy and middle of the road banality doesn’t make for witty tweets. The absolute joy of something you love or the repugnance of a thing you despise THAT is when our true passions come out. The thrill of cheering your favorite team to victory, the letter you write a dear friend you haven’t seen in a long time, that bear hug you get from your grandfather when you pick him up at the train station. Those are all examples of the nobility in our nature. The spirit of love, joy, and humanity that we wish we could keep with us all throughout our days.
Well I went the other way. I went towards hate. And trust me that that is a greater comedy gold mine to be had. When looking for a hashtag I wanted something that was universally despised. Something that every nation, race, creed, religion, economic standing, age, and gender could get behind to loathe. And boy did I find it. This one tiny hashtag of mine trended for almost 10 hours in the U.S. and Canada, over 7 hours in the U.K., even trended on the other side of the planet down in Australia. This one hashtag trended WorldWide for over 7 hours. So what was it. What did I pick that had over 16.6 K tweets from around the globe. What did people hate? Was it war? Corruption? Injustice? Nope……worse. Mornings.
Every corner of the planet hates….mornings. Leaving a nice warm bed and having to begrudgingly start our day is one of the most universal activities besides sex. From royalty to the working stiff we all have to do it. We’re happy, warm, content, and safe only to be ripped away to reality. It’s no wonder every dislikes it so much. But being the eternal optimistic pessimist that I am, I wanted to help to change things around with this week’s “Hashtag, You’re It” so I finally decided on the hashtag #MorningsWouldBeBetterIf to ease mankind’s suffering. So check out the top 20 list below and don’t forget to join me every Tuesday 10 Central for the next “Hashtag, You’re It”
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf people didn't expect me to start engaging in complex activities first thing. Like talking. Or opening my eyes.
— Veronica Brush (@ThemelessWritin) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf pillows brewed coffee
— Mr. Vernon (@shermerhs) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf work wouldn't come afterwards
— FrenchToast (@NachoPotatoe) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf you got a round of applause for participating.
— I Like Cake (@IsCakeFunny) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf my commute was via roller coaster.
— Steven (@McJoberdeen) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf donuts were a food group.
— Brad Maione (@BBrad114) March 1, 2016
drinking whiskey at a bus stop wasn't taboo.
— John C (@TrueBluBrewCrew) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf Everyone traveled to work in hamster balls.
— Sassy Senior (@lanzuini72) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf the chauffeur wasn't so chatty…
— Rob Sherritt (@RobSherritt) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf the sun wasn't a peeping tom
— Heather Thrasher (@TillytheMaid) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf when I got out of bed, I tripped over huge piles of cash.
— Susan Marie ☮ (@SusanMarie_NY) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf Venetian blinds didn't laser point the sun into your eyes
— Jazmine Card (@denndodat) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf they started with an 80's style montage set to Eye of the Tiger.
— Doom Stein ☠ (@Doomstein) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf I was a semi-conscious human suspended in a vat of gelatin, serving only as a battery for our robot overlords.
— Phil Stamato (@pstamato) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf i had TWO commas in my bank account.
— Erica (@ethnographicEB) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf I had more sex & less food in my bed
— D Jazz omus Prime (@69Dwyze69) March 1, 2016
— Gary Foss (@garyvfoss) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf morning breath was an aphrodisiac
— Matt White (@HeadClown) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf hangovers slept in.
— The Shogun of Sorrow (@DGoddamnGlover) March 1, 2016
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf I awoke, rather than regain conciousness
— Kenneth Reading (@KennethReading) March 1, 2016
And One Just To Make You Hungry
— Cinnabon (@Cinnabon) March 1, 2016
And From One Of The Stars Of MTV’s “Teen Wolf”
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf my alarm clock dripped coffee instead of spewing rage-inducing noise
— Keahu Kahuanui (@KeahuKahuanui) March 1, 2016
And Making Her 2nd Appearance Playing “Hashtag, You’re It” The Lovely And Talented Paula Abdul
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf …what? If WHAT? WE WOKE UP!! We're breathing. We're alive. Life is precious. This morning is the BEST morning!
— Paula Abdul (@PaulaAbdul) March 1, 2016
And Finally One From Your Host
#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf Lucky Charms Made A Bourbon Marshmallow
— McMannofthepeople (@McMannofthepeop) March 1, 2016
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