HashTagSirens present their picks for #TheyJustDiscovered…
#TheyJustDiscovered A cure for male pattern subtweeting. Symptoms are paranoia and self loathing
— View from my Office (@viewfrommyoffic) January 24, 2016
#TheyJustDiscovered A donut in New Jersey that Gov. Christie hasn't eaten. Don't worry. He'll get to it
— Daniel Ashley (@DanielAshley13) January 24, 2016
#TheyJustDiscovered that jet fuel can melt tin foil hats.
— MustBeTheMeds (@MustBeTheMeds) January 24, 2016
In 2015 #TheyJustDiscovered a supermassive black hole 12 billion times as big as our sun. Please ask your mom never to bend over ever again.
— Bravo Golf Lima (@Benjamin_G_Lund) January 24, 2016
— Astrid (@ssdharmaz) January 24, 2016
#TheyJustDiscovered a long-dormant 'female understanding' gene in men. But they weren't able to activate it 'cause it got mad & stormed off.
— Johnny Dangerously (@Enjoneer01) January 24, 2016
#TheyJustDiscovered…all my jokes are ripped off Nell Carter's lines in Gimme A Break. I'm ruined!
— Katt Funny (@KattFunny) January 24, 2016
#TheyJustDiscovered that When the Water Turned Brown the Government should have immediately stepped in to help Flint, MI
— Jeff Dwoskin (@bigmacher) January 24, 2016
— Brian Kachadurian (@toolguybak) January 24, 2016
#TheyJustDiscovered that the age of retirement for most people is now death-years-old.
— Mrs. Robinson (@tinyelvisbkwd) January 24, 2016
Special guest tweets
— Garett Nelson (@garettnelson) January 24, 2016
— Jonathan Bodrick (@jonathanbodrick) January 24, 2016
— Jillian⚡️ (@Pheramuse) January 24, 2016
— Girl with Mousy Hair (@CharisseMSRD) January 24, 2016